thankful for a new week

Woke up this morning and realized I am going to feel good for 2 weeks! Small things we take for granted in life. I am not very motivated to get things done around the house because it is so boring.....housework is boring. I would much rather be teaching art lessons or visiting with friends. The best thing about chemo week is I am too sick to do almost anything around the house. No cooking, laundry,or cleaning!

Thanks for all the notes and prayers-I feel so loved. There are so many amazing things that happen when you get really sick. I am in awe at how kind everyone has been to me.

The most common question every woman my age asks is what were your symptoms?

In Sept 2009 I began a watery discharge,no other symptoms. I looked up on the Internet to find out what it could be and there was nothing. I waited until December to go to the gynocologist.

In Dec a culture was done -negative. I also did a pap smear-negative.

In January, feeling like something wasn't right I went in again. The gyn0c0gist did a vaginal biopsy and pelvic exam-negative. I now know fallopian tube cancer has a watery discharge but it would of shown positive on the biopsy.

I had no other signs of menopause but the gyn doctor though it might be related.

At the end of March when I got my period, I began to have spotting in between periods. I waited 2 periods. Even though this can be a sign of menopause, I still felt something was wrong. I waited 2 periods and made another appointment at the end of May.

At Mays appointment the gyn ordered an ultrasound "just to be sure". It indicated a mass in my pelvic. Which more commonly is begnign.

This was followed by an MRI and a Pet Scan. Which confirmed cancer.

Something I now think was another sign was the bursitis in my hips had changed. I have had reoccurent bursitis from standing and teaching. I really didn't think about how it had become more in the groin area. Previously it had been only in the outer hip area. In hindsight, I did have this symptom. I had no other symptoms.

What I think you should know:
When you have your annual pelvic exam, make sure your gyn does a rectal/vaginal. This was not done on me until May. The only way for a doctor to really feel your ovaries is through a rectal/vaginal pelvic exam. Ovarian cancer is very rare and difficult to detect- that is why it is called the "silent Killer". My gynocologist/onocologist told me that 90% of her ovarian cancer patients are stage 3 or 4. I am blessed to be one of the 10% at stage 2! I know it is because God was telling me something was wrong. Before I got the results of the pet scan, I knew in my heart it was cancer. I am confident God is going to cure me of this disease,I just have to survive chemo and radiation.

If you want to know more about ovarian cancer and symptoms check out the Gilda Radnor website -I found it to be the best.

May God Bless you as He has me
Bonnie

1/2 way through chemo!!!!

Thank you for your prayers. I had chemo today. I am feeling really tired and a little nauseated but doing fine. Unfortunately, I kept thinking I wouldn't have chemo and for got to drink a lot of water beforehand. My veins were difficult again but they got it on the 3rd try. I am just praising God, I didn't want to be delayed. My bladder infection urinalysis on friday was negative. They want me to stay on the meds until they are finished to make sure it doesn't return. White blood cell count is better but not quite normal, so I have to have injections the rest of the week.
I hate going in each day when I am really sick- but I don't really have any choice.

Thank you Linda, Robin and Arika for taking me and visiting with me today. Chemo is so much easier when people visit with me.

I will not be posting until after friday. Please pray that the meds will work as well as last time or even better!

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!

thanks for all the prayers...I had Chemo! I never thought I would be grateful for chemo?
Bonnie

chemo???

Hi Everyone
Well everything in cancer land changes daily. I developed a bladder infection last week that is not easily going away. I had blood work today for Blood counts and urinalysis but I won't know the results until I go in Monday for chemo. If they are to far out of normal range- most likely chemo will be postponed. I would really appreciate your prayers that I can have chemo and my blood work is Okay. Crazy to pray to get sick, but I really want to get this whole thing over with.
Hoping to have chemo Monday so I will be at the halfway point for chemo.
Allysa and Annie went back to school this week. I am really happy for them but am sad to see them leave. Arika, Greg and I are the only ones home and the house seems so empty.

Amy has volunteered to come stay here during my bad days and take care of me. I am so thankful to have a daughter who is a nurse! After graduating from nursing school, Amy tried to get a job at many hospitals out of the area but the doors kept closing. I am now convinced God only opened the door here because I was going to need her. Praise God she works local!

I am so amazed at how many have sent me cards,e-mails, meals, and gifts. Everyday I look forward to getting the mail. Thank you- thank you- thank you!

Last week was a great week. I felt sort of normal. I was able to help a friend with her daughter's wedding on Saturday- it was really wonderful to be part of the celebration. I also taught some art classes and painted a few things. Many have said I don't want to bother you , so I haven't called. Just to let everyone know, the 8 days following chemo I am too sick to talk but the next 2 weeks I am fine to talk on the phone. I can't do a lot without getting tired but talking is definitely not a problem. (tee-hee) Please forgive me for late thank you notes- concentrating on writing often gives me a really bad headache. I don't know if my vision is the problem or what- but I know chemo effects vision and concentration. It sort of messes with everything. I hope things come back to normal when this is over!


I will let you all know on Monday the 411.
Thank you so much for praying - so many answers to prayer thus far... I really am blessed
Bonnie

Promises

HI- everyone this round was so much better. The doctors cut the steroids they gave me last time in half. I believe it has made a huge difference in how I feel for week 2 after chemo. Week one was about the same I just took more meds and it made it more bearable- Praise God for anti-nausea drugs and Valium.

I was able to go to the drive-in with my daughters on monday night- something I could of never have done last time. Tuesday I was even able to help a friend some with her daughter's upcoming wedding preparations- something I truly enjoyed.

I have to warn you- on several occasions I have run into people I know and they have not recognized me in my scarves and hats- I think it's the fact my red hair is missing? Don't feel bad if you don't -I really don't look the same-be prepared it's sort of weird.

I now have my favorite verse for chemo:

The God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. 1 Peter 5:10

so many promises in this verse 1) God's grace 2) Eternal life in Christ 3) short time of suffering (in light of eternity this time is so short) 4)jesus will restore me 5) and I will be stronger and more steadfast. - I am so encouraged!

God has used so many of you to bless me-

thank you all

Bonnie

Chemo Week Update

Hey Everyone,

My mom did much better this week. She still didn't feel good and she still is exhausted but it wasn't as bad as last time. This time she was smarter about what she ate and she also kept herself pretty medicated during her bad days. She looks a lot better today but she is only able to stay up a couple hours and then she sleeps a couple hours. My favorite quote from her this week was "I feel like Rapunzel but with no hair." So don't worry even though she is sick and weak she still has the same personality and humor. :)

Last time she had the stomach problems over the weekend so please be praying those don't start again. Hopefully she will be able to post on here by monday. Thanks for all your cards, emails, and posts. I know they mean a lot to her and they are a great encouragement.

-Allysa

chemo #2 finished!

Hi everyone- I am home,yesterday didn't take as long. Thank you Dori, Calli and Kathy for keeping me company- I hardly thought about the chemo! The needle went in this time- first try!

The doctor believes my stomach problems may be related to the large amount of steroids they gave me last time- he reduced them about 40% and if things go better they will reduce them more next time. Steroids are mainly to reduce allergic reactions and some for nausea. I am feeling about the same as last time for day 2- a little feverish and mildly achy. Unfortunately day 3-5 were the worst.- you probably won't here from me cause I spend most of that time on heavy duty drugs. Allysa reminded me that when the stomach problems kicked in it was saturday. Please pray that it is not as bad. She asked me on sunday if I needed anything and I told her a shot gun.

Good thing we don't own one.

One bummer is my white blood cell count really dropped so i have to go in the next 4 days for a shot- to boost my white blood cell count. I would really appreciate your prayers that I don't get any illnesses during this time- because I have very little to fight them with. I still have mouth sores from the last chemo and am hoping it doesn't get worse.

On a more positive note- thank you ,thank you, thank you for all the cards ,e-mails and blog posts, I read them all and they are such an encouragement to me. My family, as well as I, have really appreciated the meals too!

I am so glad to have finished 1/3 of my chemo treatments. Still looking forward to Thanksgiving- I should be done with chemo and feeling good by then. I ended up having about 6 good days last round that almost made me forget how bad the first 2 weeks were. I was able to teach 2 classes a day- It was fabulous to do something that didn't center around me and cancer. i was also able to teach Sunday school for 2 weeks- I love my class of 20+ girls -they are wonderful.

My lesson last Sunday was on Faith- I think these lessons are more for me than my class.

Looking at the story of David and Goliath- David had to have Faith that God was going to save him if it was his will. All the odds were stacked against him. Everyone thought he was very brave but foolish. If God is on my side who can be against me?

Looking forward to feeling better in a week or so... Learning to appreciate little things like 2 fans pointed at my bald head- It is great for cooling you off. I really appreciate not having hair- who would of thought?

Love you all

My God Bless you and may you feel his presence daily

Bonnie