Wednesday, December 22, 2010

DONE!

I finished radiation!
Halleluah!
I walked out of the last radiation appt and felt the flood of tears.
It is over.
The huge bump in the road has ended....
Well sort of, I still have many test scans and doctors appointments in the future. I am just so Thankful no more radiation, chemo, and feeling sick everyday. The next 2 weeks I will still be dealing with the symptoms of radiation, extreme fatigue, nausea, upset stomach, diareah, achiness. It sounds bad, but it is really no big deal in light of everything. I am so thankful to be alive and looking forward to Christmas.
Jesus, family and friends have been with me all the way. I am overwhelmingly greatful!

Annie has become engaged to Josh Womack! We love him and hope this is the beginning of good news in the Johnson house. Still trying to work out the when and where, but it should be in slo county.

You know when you wake up every morning and realize you have to go to work>>>
I wake up and say I get to go to work today! I don't think I will ever complain again.
I like working. I have many different jobs/hobbies/interests and I truly like them all.
My favorite things:
Being anywhere with my husband or family
Teaching art
Teaching Sunday school
Painting murals
Going to church
watching Arika play volleyball (last kid in sports)
Helping friends and family with their lives-weddings/interior design/house colors
Being creative
Doing anything in art with any medium
sewing flannel quilts

I hope all of you can realize that all the things you do in life that make us sooooo busy......

You actually ENJOY!

May you Have the Peace of God that surpasses all understanding..
Philipians 4:7

Bonnie

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Thanksgiving

I had a wonderful Thanksgiving with family and friends. Hope all of you had the same. I only had 20 for dinner, which may sound big to some, but that is sort of average. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday of the year- all the family,friends and fun and none of the hassles of gifts. Allysa and Annie made it home so all the girls were here. The 4 of them disappeared for awhile and reappeared with scarves on covering their hair. It was hilarious! We took some great pictures you can view on Allysa's face book page.

I am so thankful this year-
My wonderful family
amazing friends
great church family
Increasing faith
spiritual growth in my family
I am forgiven
The lessons I have learned through cancer
My feet are improving
My brain is getting clearer-less fog
My liver is recovering
God is so good
I begin teaching tomorrow!

But most of all I am thankful that God isn't finished with me yet- I will have many more days here on this earth.

People say cancer changes you for life- it definitely does

Update on radiation: I was told I wouldn't feel any of the side effects for 2 or 3 weeks. Unfortunately, this was not true. I had a bad stomach ache after day 2. I am dealing with stomach problems and that dreaded diarrhea -yes I said it -YUK!

I have had 8 treatments-17 to go
But it doesn't even compare with chemo- i would much rather have 25 radiations than 1 more chemo!

Love to you all
give your family more hugs and make sure they know you love them. Life can change in just a moment...
Bonnie

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Great Week!

I have had a great week. Monday I taught 2 classes to adorable Kindergarteners- I love that age. So great to do something "normal" that had nothing to do with cancer. I was completely exhausted afterwards and spent the next 8 hours on the couch- it was so worth it!

I also recieved the best news from my cat scan- no eveidence of cancer in my abdomen!
I hope to see those words repeated in the months and years to come "no evidence of cancer"
How simple a phrase that brings so much comfort- Praise the Lord!

Today Arika plays in her second round of cif volleyball, yipee!

The absolute best thing this week is that there is no chemo monday!

Love you all - Our God is an awesome God

Bonnie

Friday, November 5, 2010

radiation

Hi- I am done with chemo- hopefully forever! I keep praying that if the Lord wants me in heaven I would really appreciate it being quick. I know we all die some day. I just want to die quickly. This slow stuff is the pits. My Aunt and Uncle were killed years ago in there early 80's by a freak train accident. My Aunt died on impact and my Uncle died shortly afterwards. That sounds so great to me. Older,Together and most of all quick.
People often have that underlying fear that this or any cancer will kill the person afflicted. I truly believe that to be absent from this world, I will be in the presence of my Savior. So much better than this. It is just the process of dying that gets me. There were many times during chemo that I joked about wanting a gun, but, actually God only knows the timing for my homecoming(in heaven with Him). So here I am, still moving forward with the process of living.
I do believe for now God's plan is for me to be in this world.

Yesterday I got my tattoos for radiation. Yes tattoos! They are 3 small dots to line up the radiation correctly for the area they are trying to zap. I told my daughters they could now get a tattoo... as long as they weren't bigger than mine tee-hee! they are about the size of a pen dot.
Today I had a CT scan to complete the tests for setting up my procedure. It was pretty painful as they gave me junk to drink and told me not to eat or drink anything 4 hours before. When I got there I was informed they needed to start an IV- blah! I wasn't hydrated. I sort of panicked at first and tears rolled down my cheeks. I felt so sorry for the nurses dealing with a crying woman and they hadn't even started. After my initial panic attack, I began praying that they would be able to find a vein. 3 tries, and 3 nurses later they made it into a vein that had never been used before. ( good to remember so I can use that one again) I have had ct scans before without an IV, but this one was different. I begin radiation on Nov. 15Th for 25 daily treatments. Due to a break for thanksgiving, I should finish Dec. 22ND, Annie's birthday!
Just in time for Christmas. My surgery was June 20th, Allysa's birthday, and I will finish on Annie's. Funny huh? I won't forget those days.

I have been given the green light from my oncologist to begin teaching a few classes in the public schools- I am teaching 4 next week and can't wait! I really miss the kids. Watching Arika play volleyball in high school has been the highlight of my past few months. They are tied for first as League champs- next week CIF. I can't wait and I won't miss any of it. YIPPEE

Thank you Judy for sitting with me for 5 hours during my LAST chemo! You are the best.

Prayer requests: I have had a 2 week head cold, Yeast infection, thrush, nueropathy in my feet,
increased liver enzymes and a Low white blood cell count.
I sound like I am just miserable and falling apart, but honestly, knowing that chemo is over I am feeling pretty amazing!

Praising God
Bonnie

Monday, October 25, 2010

CHEMO DONE!

Hey everyone,

I talked to my mom and dad tonight. We are all so thankful that chemo is done! She still has a week of being sick but it is such a good feeling of knowing that she is done and God willing forever done. She currently has a cold and the prayer request that it doesn't get really bad because of the lack of white blood cells. She is sick and not feeling the greatest but I think knowing that she only has radiation left is making it easier to handle.

You all are great and such a blessing. It's hard being away but it is so nice to know that there are so many people back home looking out for my family and for the people everywhere who are praying.

A million thanks,
Allysa

PS Mom you may feel fat and bald but you are the most beautiful bald lady I have ever seen and I am blessed to have you as a mom.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Last chemo monday 10/25

Good news my Liver enzymes are not worse. Bad news they still aren't great.
Doc believes they are OKAY for chemo on Monday.

Careful what you pray for- Now I am going to have chemo -blah!

I am just thankful I get to finish the chemo. Please pray that I will not have any life time effects or damage from the chemo.

I am on schedule to begin radiation on Nov. 8Th. I am hoping it won't be too tiring. I was told today that I may have trouble with my liver and white blood cell count during radiation. ugh

Well here we go again!

God is always good and knows what is best for his children. There are so many times that things looked so bleak and then there is a rainbow.

FYI- you know that part about skinny and bald- didn't happen- I have GAINED weight
A side effect of all the steroids-Fat and Bald, but humble...

Thank you all for praying
I love you all

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

tests are normal!

Well the good news is the tests are normal. No serious liver,kidney,aorta, stomach etc. problems.
At this point I will have a bunch of blood work next week and the doctor will make the final determination if I can have the last chemo treatment on the following monday. Thank you all for praying for me. I really began to struggle over the weekend with the what if's. Then I was reminded by a dear friend that our hope is in what the Lord has planned and not in tests and results. I know this to be true but in the midst of possible serious Liver damage my human nature got the best of me. I began to pray and trust that whatever the outcome I would have peace that it was God's will. I know in my heart that God only gives us what we can handle. I am just so grateful to have a God that loves me more than I even Love my children, husband, friends,and art. Hard to believe sometimes when those people are so precious to me.

Some of you envision me as laying on the couch near death, well that is not the case. Except for the week of chemo, I am somewhat productive. Today I painted kitchen cabinets and began sewing a quilt. I am spending my time trying to do things that don't take much concentration.
Although, the speed at which I get things done has been greatly diminished I am still accomplishing a few things each day. This is great for my mental health- I hate lying around.
Looking forward to the next 10 days!
Love you all
Bonnie